Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Amen.
[00:00:02] Church. Before you take a seat, say hi to a bunch of people around you. Say hi to a bunch of people around you. Give them a high five. Give them a hug. Give them some love. Tell them your name. Tell them where you're from. Tell them your address.
[00:00:15] Tell them your Social Security, whatever you got to do. Introduce yourself if you've never seen them. Say hello to them.
[00:00:22] Give them a hug. Give them a high five. One more person. Come on. One more person.
[00:00:26] They could be behind you, in front of you, to the side of you, across from you.
[00:00:32] Yeah, we go. I like that. I like what I say. I like what I say.
[00:00:38] Whoo. Well, good morning, Christ Church. How we feeling this morning? We feeling good.
[00:00:45] It is so good to see my people. I love you. So thankful to serve y' all this morning. It was rainy earlier, wasn't it? It was going down crazy. It was pouring and hailing and whatnot. But the sun is out.
[00:00:58] We're here, we're gathered, and I'm excited to worship with every single one of you guys. If this is your first time here, my name is Javon. I get the opportunity to serve as one of the pastors here at our old Brooklyn campus here at Christ Church. And we're just so happy that you're here. If this is your first time here or if you have yet to get connected, we want to encourage you to stop at our connection center and fill out a connection card. That's a place where we can help aid you in the journey of faith that you are on. Because we all believe here that we're all on this journey, right? And we want to just be people who help you and assist you in the path God has for you. So that's what the connection desk is for. Fill out a connection card. We would love to again give you direction and assistance, however we can just. I got a few announcements for you guys. A few announcements. Next week, we've been talking about it a lot, but next week, we have our outdoor service. We have our end of summer bash here at our old Brooklyn campus, which means a couple things. Number one, the first thing is we were only. Only. Let me say one more time. Third time, only having 11 o' clock service. If you show up at 9:30, you're helping set it up. Okay, Let me just tell you that right now. All right, so you 9 30th, we only have one service next weekend. That's 11 o' clock service.
[00:02:26] Bring your own chairs. If you don't have a chair, don't worry. One will be provided for you. We'll be having the parking lot service. So that does mean parking will be a little bit tricky next week. We will help you park. We're going to have a bunch of people outside helping you park on the streets, down. Down the street from us and whatnot. So we will be having a parking lot service. But then also one cool thing that we're going to be doing that day is we're going to be having baptisms, y'. All. We're going to be celebrating baptisms.
[00:02:58] If you are that person and you feel like, man, God has been at work in your heart and you want to know more about baptism and you want to be baptized, we do have a baptism class going on after service. Pastor Theo, he's in the back. You'll see him. He's a really tall guy. We're about the same height, but why'd you laugh?
[00:03:20] Pastor Theo will be having a baptism class again, if you're interested in it. If you need to scoot out and you got things you. You got going on, you can fill out a connection card and you could turn that in. And we'll make sure we reach out to you and talk to you before next week. So we'll be doing a bunch of things next week. We got food, we got games.
[00:03:41] We're going to have baptism in our outdoor service next week. 11 o' clock service only. Now let's jump into today's sermon, y'. All. We are continuing throughout our sermons summer sermon series through the book of Ephesians. If you have your copy of the Scriptures, if you have a device, a phone or iPad, whatever you might have, go ahead and open up to Ephesians chapter four. We're finishing up chapter four today. We're going into chapter five.
[00:04:08] We're going to be continuing in Ephesians, chapter four.
[00:04:12] We're going to. Beginning in verse 25. I got a lot of verses to read, but when I'm done reading them, I'm going to say, this is the word of the Lord in which you respond, thanks be to God. So again, Ephesians chapter four. I'm going to begin at verse 25. These are the words of the Apostle Paul, and it reads just like this. It says this.
[00:04:33] Therefore each of you must put away falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one another. Verse 26. Be angry, yet do not sin.
[00:04:49] Do not let the sun go down in your anger, and do not give the devil foothold.
[00:04:56] Verse 28. He who has been stealing must steal no longer but. But must work doing good with his own hands, that he may have something to share with the one in need. Verse 29. Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building up to. Building up to one in need, bringing grace to those who listen. Verse 30.
[00:05:20] Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, outcry, slander, along with every form of malice. Verse 32. Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God has forgiven you. Jump to chapter five.
[00:05:44] Chapter five, verse one. It says, be imitators of God.
[00:05:48] Therefore, as beloved children walk in love, just as Christ loved us. Key word coming up. And gave himself up for us as a fragrance, as a fragrant, sacrificial offering to God. This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God. Let's pray.
[00:06:12] Heavenly Father, there's so much weight, these verses.
[00:06:17] There's so much truth.
[00:06:20] And many of us can look at these verses and feel guilt and shame because these verses speak much to our reality.
[00:06:30] But I pray, Lord, that as you breathe into your holy word, that you can breathe into our hearts and remove whatever regret or shame we have and bring us into the Holy Spirit and the grace that you are willing to give today.
[00:06:45] And I pray that this message today wouldn't be a message where somebody says, that was a good sermon, but rather someone can say, we have a really good savior in Jesus Christ.
[00:06:56] I pray that today, Lord, that your truth would confront us, but it would confront us.
[00:07:03] Not to condemn us, but to lead us into who you are calling us to be.
[00:07:09] Every one of us in this room today needs to need your presence, needs your spirit, needs your assistance.
[00:07:17] So bless us, I pray.
[00:07:19] Help us. I pray to everyone in this room under the sound of my voice. In the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. In His Son's perfect name is who we pray. Amen, Amen and amen. Well, once again, good morning. Good morning.
[00:07:36] We're chucking along in Ephesians, guys. We're finally entered chapter five. Don't worry, we got another chapter to go.
[00:07:42] Six chapters.
[00:07:44] A lot going on. But I'm excited. We've been walking through it. I'm excited to hear the response that I've been hearing from these sermons and just from our study and whatnot. Again, we want to encourage you to study Ephesians outside of what we've been doing here on Sunday.
[00:08:02] But we're in the part in Ephesians where Paul, the writer of this letter, the Apostle Paul, the church leader, a great church leader, is now going to say, if you call yourself a Christian, show me or show it.
[00:08:18] That's where. That's where we're at.
[00:08:21] We're now entering in this section. We've been in this section for a few weeks. And guess what? He's going to continue to escalate more and more upon this truth for those who call themselves followers of Jesus.
[00:08:34] Right? Right. It's more than just saying it, it's now living it.
[00:08:39] And that's where we're at. Right? And it's very confronting. It's very confronting and it's very challenging. But we said it last week and I remind you again this week, a challenge is good. Because guess what, friends, today's message is even more challenging.
[00:08:54] But it's cause the Lord loves you and the Lord wants to lead you into all that God want you who God is calling you to be. I remember I worked for a previous employer. Employer a long time ago. I remember my boss and I remember how unkind this person was.
[00:09:14] I remember how impatient they were. I remember every time I was around them, it was like walking on eggshells. Right? You ever had somebody that you worked under, you know, do that? Haley Logan, don't say anything, but you ever, you ever, you ever. You ever had somebody that you worked under that you're like, you just. You weren't fond of? Right? But this particular person, right, the way they listen, their treatment of others just. It didn't just impact the individuals, it impacted the whole culture, Right? Right. One's treatment towards others impacted the whole environment is what I'm trying to say. Right? And maybe you've had some bosses here and there. Maybe you currently work for a boss right now that you know, you pray for every single day. Right?
[00:10:06] But it's easy for me, it's easy for me to talk to you about what I experienced because of him.
[00:10:14] Right. Or another way to say this. It's easy to tell you his flaws. But you want to know an even harder truth. Want to know an even harder truth is to know what other people experience because of me.
[00:10:28] Right? Right.
[00:10:30] It's hard. It's easy for me to point out what I see in others.
[00:10:34] Right. If I can be honest, I don't want to hear what people see and experience through me. Right. And let me ask you a question.
[00:10:43] What do people experience when they're around you?
[00:10:48] Is it grace?
[00:10:52] Is it peace?
[00:10:54] Is it patience?
[00:10:56] Would somebody Say, yeah, you're a patient person. Or would somebody say.
[00:11:02] Or do people experience that? They have to walk around. They have to be. It's like walking around on eggshells, right? What do people experience because of you, is what I'm trying to say. Is it like walking around on eggshells?
[00:11:18] Is it hostility?
[00:11:20] Is it harshness? See, whether we realize it or not, the way we treat others says a lot about us.
[00:11:30] It just does.
[00:11:32] The way we treat others says a lot about.
[00:11:35] Says a lot about us. But also it also reveals our relationship with God.
[00:11:44] It also reveals our relationship with God, right? And here's where the Apostle Paul is going to help you and I at more and more today.
[00:11:52] Here's what Paul is going to be leading into helping us to emphasize more in our Christian walk, in our walk with Jesus.
[00:12:01] You want to know how God is working in someone's life. You want to know if God is changing someone?
[00:12:10] Look at the way they treat others.
[00:12:14] Look at the way they treat others, right?
[00:12:17] Not look how much they go to church.
[00:12:21] Not look how much they read their Bible.
[00:12:24] But look how they see and treat others.
[00:12:28] And that's where Paul's gonna lead us today. Here's Paul's central point and central thesis for today's message. Paul says, your relationship with God ought to shape your relationship with others.
[00:12:43] Your relationship with God ought to influence how you treat and see other people. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you another question. If someone were to walk with you throughout this week, they went with you to your job, they went with you to the gym, they went with you hung out with friends or the grocery store, if someone were around you all week, what would they learn about Jesus?
[00:13:13] What's the one thing they would learn about Jesus?
[00:13:16] And what's the one thing that they would learn about your relationship with Christ?
[00:13:21] And that's where Paul's gonna be leading us more and more. He's gonna be centering these topics upon relationships that we have with one another. So, friends, I need you to know this isn't Paul's way of saying, here are five ways to have healthier relationships. No, what Paul is going to do is here are ways to walk in grace throughout your life.
[00:13:46] Because people who receive grace now extend grace.
[00:13:52] The people who receive the love of God now walk in the love of God, right?
[00:13:59] The people that have experienced God in their life, now it begins to become. It begins to. To pour out in the way they treat one another. So again, don't look at this as again, five ways to be healthier or Five Steps for Healthy Relationships. No, this is what it looks like for a follower of Jesus. Those who have been saved by grace walk in grace.
[00:14:24] Those who have been saved by grace. Not of your own works, not because you got it right, not because you were born in the right family, not because you have the right height, none of that. It's because of the grace of God. Now we walk in the grace of God as well. So the Father Paul is going to do. And again, friends, today is going to be challenging, but it's going to be good for us because it's going to allow us to examine, am I allowing God to be at work in the areas of my life that I continue, that I continually overlook?
[00:15:00] Am I allowing God to be at work in my life in the areas that I constantly overlook? And Paul starts it off in verse 25.
[00:15:09] Starts off pretty heavy. Here we go. Paul says this in verse 25. He says, Therefore.
[00:15:15] Therefore, this is a continuation of what we talked about last week. If you weren't with us last week, I'll briefly explain. Last week we talked about that Christianity is walking in the new life.
[00:15:26] That Jesus didn't simply come down just to help you be comfortable or to just make upgrades. He came to make you completely new.
[00:15:37] A new you, a new way of thinking, a new way of relating, a new way of talking. All of that. Jesus came to make you new. And Paul has been contrasting the old life, what it was like before Jesus, right, versus the new life now. How I live because of Jesus, right? Not now, how I act because of Christ. So again, he's saying therefore, right? In light of this new life, look what he says. Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one another. Paul addresses relationships. And the one thing that can disrupt a lot of relationships, the one thing that can cause havoc in a lot of friendships and marriages and whatever it may be, is this theme called deception.
[00:16:39] Deception. Right? Now, many of us in this room today, you know what it's like to be lied to.
[00:16:47] You know, the pain and the tragedy and the frustration that came after when someone deceives you, when someone lies to you, right? But have you ever stopped and thought about what our. How our deception has impacted other people as well?
[00:17:09] You ever stop to consider that? Because Paul, he's addressing this very narrative and this very truth. People who belong to one another should be able to trust one another.
[00:17:23] And here's the one thing that can destroy trust.
[00:17:27] Lies.
[00:17:29] Deception. Now, some of you in this room Today, probably sit back and say, like, I'm not a liar. This doesn't apply to me. I tell the whole truth, brother.
[00:17:37] You kidding me? I tell the whole truth. Now, when I think about lies, when I think about deception, I don't think anyone wakes up and just does it intentionally, Right? I think sometimes our deception comes because we're careless at times.
[00:17:56] Right?
[00:17:58] Maybe sometimes our deception is due to. Because we exaggerate things.
[00:18:04] Anybody really good at exaggerating the truth?
[00:18:07] Don't put your head down.
[00:18:09] Right? Right. I asked my kid the one day I saw a toy break. I'm like, did you break this toy? He says, no, I threw it in the air and the floor broke it.
[00:18:24] I was like, what?
[00:18:26] Right. Like, he told me the truth, but he didn't tell me the whole truth. You know, I was like, wait a minute. That's actually kind of crafty. I threw it in the.
[00:18:33] And the floor broke it. I mean, technically, if we speak. No, Right. Some of us, we're really good at exaggerating. When I tell a story, I like to put a little spice on it, like to put a little spin on it, right? Some of us, deception and lies, again, I don't always think that it's intentional. Sometimes I think we walk and sometimes we talk in the way of deception because of fear.
[00:19:00] We're scared, right?
[00:19:03] We're scared of conflict.
[00:19:06] I don't want to disappoint this person, so I'll just tell them what they want to hear.
[00:19:12] Got real quiet, right? I don't want to disappoint them, so I'll just tell them what they want to hear. Right. Sometimes, maybe, how deception shows up in my life is making commitments I don't intend on actually keeping.
[00:19:28] Can you do this? Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:19:33] Did you do that? Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it. Yeah, man, things happen, you know what I'm saying? You know, the kids and, you know, I got sick, you know, Right. It's. It's. Sometimes deception isn't all. It doesn't. It doesn't have to be intentional to be called deception. I think sometimes we have to realize, friends, that what Paul is trying to do in establishing in this is that the strength of your relationships is going to be founded on this thing called trust.
[00:20:01] And here's the one thing God wants you to become. He wants you to become a person others can trust.
[00:20:09] That's God's intentional goal for you.
[00:20:11] To be a person that's reliable.
[00:20:15] To be a person that says, hey, I trust you.
[00:20:17] I can come to you. I can rely on you to follow through. Now, again, that doesn't mean we're not going to have moments and we're not going to be human. Right. But at the end of the day, I think what the Apostle Paul and what God wants to do through the Apostle Paul is breathe within us a life of integrity.
[00:20:39] A life of integrity, Right. So Paul's main point right here is to help us to understand this. Honesty strengthens unity, therefore live truthfully.
[00:20:53] Honesty strengthens unity, therefore live.
[00:20:58] Live truthfully. Be honest, Be honest with one another.
[00:21:03] Right. You know, Jesus says this in the Gospels. He says, let your yeses be yes and your nos be no.
[00:21:11] Can you do this? You know what I. One thing that I've learned from a pastor, a long time ago, no was the complete sentence.
[00:21:19] Can you do that? No, I cannot. Why not? I don't have to give a reason. I can't.
[00:21:24] Right, right, right. Like honesty is the one thing that's gonna strengthen unity, therefore live truthfully. So Paul says, hey, in your relationships, you know, we need to be people who can be trusted. We need to be people who are reliable. We need to be people who are approachable. We need to be people who are walking in integrity. But then ball builds it even more.
[00:21:47] Right? You thought that truth stung.
[00:21:49] Look at verse 26. You ready for verse 26? I'm not happy about this.
[00:21:53] Look at what he says.
[00:21:55] Be angry.
[00:21:57] Thank God, but. Or yet do not sin. That's Psalm 4, by the way.
[00:22:04] He's referencing Psalm 4. He says, Be angry, yet do not sin. Do not let the sun set upon your anger. Verse 27. And he brings in his reality. Look what he says. Do not give the devil a foothold. Uh oh, we talk about some spiritual forces. Now this is getting interesting. Right? Right. Here's what Paul's going to do in this next section. Here's what Paul's going to do in this next point. Paul is going to talk about as followers of Jesus. Right? When anger.
[00:22:35] Hear this. When anger shows up in our lives, how are we to apply it in a manner that honors God?
[00:22:46] That's what Paul is trying to do in these few verses. We're gonna break them down in a second, right? And y' all are lucky. I was ready to do a sermon on anger in a couple weeks, but I'm gonna do this. So Instead of spending 45 minutes on anger, I'll spend 35 minutes on anger.
[00:23:00] Just for your sake. I'll cut it by 10 minutes. But.
[00:23:04] Right, because here's the reality Friends, anger. Here's the thing, right? You can't avoid conflict.
[00:23:12] You can't avoid disagreements.
[00:23:14] Marriages, we have them, don't we? There's just times you just don't agree.
[00:23:19] Right. And also, you can't avoid disappointments.
[00:23:23] Right? But when disagreements and disappointments and conflict shows up and anger builds up, how are we meant to walk in it? In a way that honors Christ and reflects Christ more and more? So that's what he's going to talk about here. Right? There's one thing that I've realized when I became a parent is that I have anger issues.
[00:23:46] Thank you, Jess.
[00:23:49] Right.
[00:23:50] Your parenting made me realize there's some work that needs to be done. Now, listen, parenting didn't create the anger issues. It exposed something that was already there.
[00:24:03] The Bornelli is hearing me. They hear me out. I can always rely on my peoples.
[00:24:08] Right? Right. Listen, anger is something we all struggle with. Some of us. One pastor says we either struggle with anger passionately or passively.
[00:24:21] Right?
[00:24:22] Passionately. Which I fit in that category?
[00:24:25] Or passively, that anger that you're like, you know, you hold it in.
[00:24:31] You don't tell anybody how you're feeling.
[00:24:34] You rather shut up.
[00:24:36] But knowing that silence actually is making things worse. So here's what Paul's gonna do. Paul's gonna help us to understand anger. Number one, verse 26. Bring it up for them again, Logan. He says, be angry.
[00:24:46] Now, I need you to understand this. This is a reality that we need to understand. That anger is natural.
[00:24:54] It's just natural, right?
[00:24:56] It's just natural. I think people think Christians, they should just walk around happy all the time. No, Sometimes I get frustrated. You should be angry if somebody lies to you.
[00:25:08] You should be angry if somebody steals your car.
[00:25:13] No Christian walks around like, you know, the joy of the Lord is my strength. You're a weirdo. Okay, you know, no Christians, you are allowed to get frustrated. Like it is natural. Jesus himself, right? Walks into the temple and sees a bunch of people doing things that shouldn't be done in the temple. And my man got out a belt and started flipping tables.
[00:25:38] Right?
[00:25:39] But see, the problem is not becoming angry.
[00:25:44] The problem is when anger starts controlling you. You.
[00:25:48] Because notice what Paul says. Be angry, but do not sin.
[00:25:54] This is the moment where our emotions get the best of us.
[00:26:00] It's when our emotions get the best of us. It's when anger now begins to influence everything about us. How we think, what we say, how we respond.
[00:26:12] Right? Right. Paul is addressing what we would call. And I said this, wrote this in My Bible, Paul, in this passage, he addresses uncontrolled anger. Right?
[00:26:22] Right. And sometimes, if I'm not careful, I can allow my emotions to get the best of me. And anybody find themselves getting angry over small things.
[00:26:37] Right.
[00:26:38] Yesterday I literally got mad at my wife because there was no more bread.
[00:26:43] Where's the bread? The kids ate them. What do you mean the kids ate them?
[00:26:48] Like you're getting that mad over bread, really. Like you're getting that frustrated. Right.
[00:26:58] And Paul would say that as followers of Jesus, we need to not avoid. It's not about avoiding anger. It's avoiding allowing anger to consume you, to control you.
[00:27:13] Right? He's talking about uncontrolled anger. But Paul actually escalates it even more because look at the second part of verse 26. He says, Be angry, yet do not sit. Then he says this. Do not let the sun set upon your anger. Now, what is he doing here? He's using an imagery, right? Usually when the sun sets, that marks the end of the day. Right?
[00:27:36] When the sun sets, when the sun begins to settle, it marks the end of the day. What is Paul trying to do here? Paul's trying to. He goes from uncontrolled anger to. Now he moves on to unresolved anger.
[00:27:50] And why is he using this imagery? See, there are some times where we sit in our anger.
[00:27:59] Told you guys, it's going to get a little heavy today.
[00:28:02] There's times in our lives we just sit in our anger.
[00:28:05] We just sit in our frustrations. We fester on it and we feed into it. And as a matter of fact, Paul connects it in verse 31 and 32. Kind of what happens when unresolved anger takes place in our lives. Look what he says in verse 31. He says, get rid of all bitterness and rage and anger and outcry and slander, man, along with every form of malice. Then he goes on, he says, be kind and tenderhearted or compassionate. Some translations say, be kind or compassionate to one another. Forgiving is the buzzword, forgiving each other. Just as God in Christ forgave you, here's what Paul's trying to say. Paul says, when uncontrolled and unresolved anger, when you sit into it, when you feed into it, when you don't do anything about it, it begins not just shaping how you view others, it begins changing you.
[00:29:02] It begins changing you, shaping you. Right? And here's how I know that I've been sitting in anger for far too long. You ever, anybody, ever, you begin to replay the events in your head over and over.
[00:29:20] Yeah, you just. You replay what they did over and over. When you see them, the only thing you see is what they did.
[00:29:31] Right? Because here's how you know bitterness is shaping in your life. Here's how you know bitterness is shaping in your life. When you begin to reduce the person to their worst moments, they could do a thousand things great. Your mom could have done a hundred things great. Your dad could have done 100 things great. Your spouse could have done 100 things great. But that one thing, you just can't let it go. Paul says, this is what happens when you don't resolve the anger. What happens? You become bitter.
[00:30:00] Sometimes it leads us to become hateful, right? Sometimes it leads us to become people who are unwilling to forgive.
[00:30:13] And that's how you know the offense or what happened or the event has a hold on you. One pastor said this a long time ago. I remember hearing the sermon. He says, holding onto an offense does more damage than the original offense that took place.
[00:30:30] I thought that was interesting, the way he said it.
[00:30:33] I thought that was interesting, the way he explained it. He said, sometimes holding onto what happened does more damage than what happened in the beginning.
[00:30:43] Right? It does more damage to you. And it begins to form within you something that God is calling you out of more and more.
[00:30:55] And then Paul says, unresolved uncontrolled anger.
[00:31:01] It can produce destructive influence. Paul says this, verse 27, he says, do not give the devil. Uh oh.
[00:31:12] You know, some Christians are a little bit too obsessed with talking about the devil.
[00:31:16] You've been around that Christian that blames everything on the devil. No, bro, you're lazy. That's why you lost your job. Like, you know what I mean? But.
[00:31:25] But there are. Listen, we gotta understand this. As followers of Jesus, I don't think we need to overly spiritualize things. But I also think we need to know underneath everything that sometimes, if we're not careful, one thing the enemy loves doing is taking offenses and leading to division.
[00:31:48] He loves doing that.
[00:31:51] He loves dividing families, he loves dividing marriages.
[00:31:56] He loves dividing siblings. He loves doing that. Right? And he'll take one small offense, one small thing someone did, and allow that to cause so much effect in each and every one of our lives, to shatter relationships. But again, Paul is helping us to understand the old life and the new life. See, the old way of how I done things. See, the old way, I held grudges.
[00:32:31] But now the new self, it holds on to grace.
[00:32:38] See the old self, I held grudges, I kept score.
[00:32:44] I rehearsed their offense. Over and over in my head, I reduced a person all to their worst moments. I defined them by their flaws. But now the new self, the new self holds on to grace. And here's what I want you to understand. Grace. Listen, and I want you to hear me clear when I say this.
[00:33:03] Grace doesn't deny the offense, doesn't deny what happened. It just refuses to allow what happened and have authority over your heart.
[00:33:15] That's the reason why the Christian shows grace.
[00:33:18] It's not because. Here's the part that I want to talk about. Because Paul says we need to become people who are kind, compassionate. But here's the buzzword, forgiving.
[00:33:30] That's a buzzword in the Christian church because everybody loves the idea of forgiveness until they have something to forgive.
[00:33:37] We all love to talk about forgiveness until forgiveness shows up in your life, right? But I wanna give clarity on this. And I'm not here to make it a sermon about forgiveness, but I wanna give a little bit clarity. And I've been learning this more and more as I been studying and studying forgiveness. In some cases, forgiveness can be done in a pretty quick manner, can be done in a timely manner, right? Can be done the next day or the day after or the week, whatever it may be. But in a lot of cases, because some of you have some real trauma, some of you got some real pain, some of you got some real hurt.
[00:34:13] Here's what I want you to know. Forgiveness, it takes time.
[00:34:18] It takes time.
[00:34:20] It takes time, right? We need to grieve with other people. We need to grieve with the Lord. We need to receive counsel, we need to talk to people. It's not, they did this. And now tomorrow I just need to forgive. Sometimes it just. It takes time.
[00:34:36] It takes time, right?
[00:34:39] The goal is to get there, but it takes time. And here's the thing about forgiveness, and I want you guys to understand this.
[00:34:47] Forgiveness is not forgetting what happened.
[00:34:51] Neither is it excusing what happened.
[00:34:55] It's just not allowing what happened to control the way you live.
[00:35:01] That's what forgiveness is. I'm not giving the person a pass, right? I'm not forgetting what happened.
[00:35:08] It was damaging, it was hard.
[00:35:11] It's just. I'm not allowing. It's the time where I get to. I'm not allowing what happened to control the way that I live. And here's the thing, friends, sometimes you gotta forgive over and over and over.
[00:35:26] Cause you're forgive and then something will happen. And then next year, you know, you're kind of like, you know what? Forget them but then you got to remind yourself, no, I'm new.
[00:35:37] I'm new in Christ.
[00:35:39] Christ has called me to forgive. Why? Because he has forgiven me. That's the motivation for it. Because if I want to play that game, I've done much to offend God.
[00:35:52] I've done a lot.
[00:35:54] But still, he didn't withhold forgiveness when I called and trusted and asked for it.
[00:36:02] Because people who receive forgiveness extend it.
[00:36:07] Forgiven people forgive people.
[00:36:12] Does that make sense?
[00:36:13] Forgiven people forgive people.
[00:36:18] I didn't make that up. A pastor I stole that from.
[00:36:22] Right? So I told you I was going to spend a long time on there. So here's what Paul's trying to say.
[00:36:26] Handle conflict with grace.
[00:36:29] So Paul's trying to say, handle conflict with grace in all of our moments, in all of our times, in all of our relationships. So now Paul moves on. I know you're ready to move on from this point, but guess what? It gets even deeper.
[00:36:43] All right? Paul goes on to talk about honesty. Paul goes on to talk about controlling anger and not sitting in unresolved anger in one's life. And now Paul is, he's beginning to escalate a little bit more. And he brings this up in verse 28. Verse 28 is actually very interesting. He says, he who has been stealing must steal no longer. I guess there was some crime happening in the early church, right? I always think when I read the Bible or when I read about the early church, it was just a bunch of righteous people with halos over their head. No, they were broken people like you and I. They had some struggles and apparently there were some people that were stealing from one another.
[00:37:25] Right? Very interesting. But something's happening here. Look what Paul goes on and says. He says, he who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work doing good with his own hands, that he may have something to share with the one in need. Now, again, Paul is addressing theft, he's addressing what's going on in the church. But actually, fundamentally, listen to me, he's actually doing something deeper here. As a matter of fact, Tim Keller, the late, great Tim Keller, did a sermon on this particular verse, a whole 40 minute sermon where he talked about there's two mindsets people have.
[00:37:59] There are those that have this mindset, what's in it for me?
[00:38:06] Or what can I get out of it?
[00:38:09] Mindset. And then there are those that live with a how can I bless others Mindset.
[00:38:16] What can I give for the good of others?
[00:38:20] So underneath all of this, what Paul is actually bringing out in this particular passage in verse 28, he's not just saying, don't steal from one another. We all know that we shouldn't do that.
[00:38:31] But he's actually approaching, if we're not careful, we can become a people who are dominated with greed.
[00:38:41] Because behind theft is greed.
[00:38:45] What I want, what can I get out of it?
[00:38:48] And greed, greed at its core is when one makes self the center of life.
[00:38:58] Can I just tell you right now and again, as you pull this out and as you see this, there's one thing, if there's one thing that's going to damage and hurt a lot of your relationships, there's one thing that will threaten your character and your faith more and more is selfishness.
[00:39:17] So when you make it about you.
[00:39:19] I preached on this a thousand times and I'll preach on it a thousand more times. We are people who love ourselves a little too much.
[00:39:29] It's all about us. It's all about what we want. It's all about our dreams. It's all about our aspirations. Go out and fulfill them and don't let anybody get in front of them. It's all about us. It's all about me.
[00:39:43] What Paul says, but Paul, again, he's giving this reality that a Christian see. Before Jesus, I lived for myself.
[00:39:54] But now, because of Jesus, I live for the good of others.
[00:39:58] Notice the tone shift.
[00:40:01] Notice the shift.
[00:40:03] Before Jesus, it was all about me. What can I get out of it?
[00:40:08] But now, because of Jesus, I live with this mindset.
[00:40:12] How can I bless others?
[00:40:14] Imagine how drastically different our lives would be if we woke up every single day aspiring to be a blessing and not just to get blessings.
[00:40:25] Imagine if that was our mindset. Imagine if that's how we carried ourselves in our marriages.
[00:40:30] Imagine. I mean, I can tell you right now the tone of my marriage would be very different if I can just wake up and say it's not about what she can do for me, but what I can do for her.
[00:40:42] How can I serve my wife today? How can I honor her today? How can I lift her up today? How can I remind her that she's a daughter of the most high God? How can I remind her that she's seen and that she's loved? What if I carry that mindset when it came to my children, when I could just look at them and remind them that you have a heavenly father that's greater than your earthly father and I can remind them that they're seen in love. Imagine if that was our mindset that we carried with ourselves every single day. Paul is trying to get us to become people of generosity, become generous people.
[00:41:18] We're called to be generous now. Why are we called to be generous? Listen, we live generously because we've been loved by a generous God.
[00:41:28] We live a life of generosity. We live a life of service. We live a life where we're willing to give up because we've been loved by a generous God.
[00:41:42] The old self put me at the center, and now the new self, it puts Christ at the center and lives for the good of others. I can tell you right now, your relationships in life would drastically change if you stop making life about you.
[00:42:05] Paul's trying to say right there, you want to know why you get frustrated all the time? Want to know why you have no energy?
[00:42:11] Cause it's all about you.
[00:42:13] The Christian life says not unto me, but unto the one who has saved me, who died for me, who made me new. And now my ambition is to honor him and honor others because of him.
[00:42:27] That's the aim of the Christian life right there. Right there. That's a hymn, by the way.
[00:42:33] That's the aim of the Christian life, to honor him and to demonstrate that in the way that I treat others.
[00:42:41] That's what Paul's trying to say. So point number three, live generously.
[00:42:48] What can you do tomorrow? Tomorrow morning, Start it tomorrow morning. The first thing you think about is you.
[00:42:55] How can you live to be a blessing to others? And then Paul continues on. He keeps going. He says this. He says in verse 29, let no unwholesome talk. He says, let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building up one in need and bringing grace to those who listen. So now Paul is going to talk about, hey, the way we handle our relationships. It begins.
[00:43:22] Our words matter.
[00:43:24] How we talk to one another matters. I remember I had a coach back in. When I was playing football, I hurt my ankle and my coach sent me over to the trainer, to the team trainer, and he's telling me all these things and he begins to start telling me how bad I'm playing.
[00:43:46] He begins to tell me. He's like, man, you're playing like trash right now. Maybe the reason why you got hurt is because of how bad you're playing.
[00:43:53] And I think at the heart of what he was trying to do, he was trying to encourage me by telling me how bad I am, by telling me how awful I'm playing.
[00:44:04] And I've noticed if we're not careful, we can use that same tactic towards others.
[00:44:12] We often think if we want to call the best out of somebody, beat them up, Tell them how stupid they are, tell them how much they are an idiot, Right? Point out their flaws, all of that, right? But Paul says our words, listen, our words, they matter. How we use them, they matter. And I have to ask myself, because here's the thing. Paul's not trying to tell us. Paul's not trying to say, you can't have uncomfortable conversations.
[00:44:48] Not every conversation is going to be comfortable.
[00:44:50] But the real question is this. The goal isn't to ignore difficult truth.
[00:44:59] It's what's my intention in addressing this person with difficult truth?
[00:45:04] Am I trying to unload onto them or am I trying to build them up?
[00:45:11] Because that doesn't mean we don't have uncomfortable conversations. We gotta have them. We need to have them, right? But is my words, or am I speaking in a way for someone else's good, or am I just trying to get something off my chest?
[00:45:27] See, I think the reason why a lot of conflicts and arguments happen, and I'm just speaking for my marriage, because I do this all the time, is because I just want to get something off my chest.
[00:45:37] I want to tell them how I'm feeling. I want to tell them, you made me feel this way. You did this to me. And I'm just. And I'm just berating them and berating them and berating them and staring them down, and I'm hoping that they see the light. But next, you know, she's coming back at me and being like, oh, yeah, well, what about what you did back in 2017? And da, da, da, da.
[00:45:56] That was almost 10 years ago, lady. Move on. You know what I mean?
[00:45:59] But that's what.
[00:46:02] See, a lot of us, when we get into arguments, we just want to unload on the person, tell them how bad they are and how bad we feel about it. But Paul says, see, we need to be careful because how we use our words.
[00:46:17] Because your words reveal what's happening in your hearts.
[00:46:24] Because Jesus says in the Gospels, from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
[00:46:32] See, destructive words is not a speech problem.
[00:46:36] It's a heart problem.
[00:46:40] It's a heart problem because whatever's living inside of you begins to start leaking out of you.
[00:46:50] Whatever's living inside of you starts eventually leaking out of you. And Paul says, we need to guard our words.
[00:47:00] And Paul lends this beautiful, beautiful reality.
[00:47:04] And he talks about this actually in verse 30, verse 30, Paul says, Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. He says, do not grieve The Holy Spirit of God in whom you were sealed with, sealed for the day of redemption. Here's what Paul's trying to here's all Paul is trying to do as he lands this and as we land this message.
[00:47:25] All Paul is trying to help us to understand this. See, change isn't something that we manufacture on our own.
[00:47:31] That's the work of the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit, a third person of the Trinity. His job, his job is to lead us into Christ likeness, to make the new increasingly visible. But here's the truth. Here's the truth. When we knowingly hold onto old patterns, when we knowingly hold onto patterns of the old, what are we doing?
[00:47:54] We are resisting the very work he wants to do in us. And Paul says, don't grieve the Holy Spirit. Meaning this. Meaning this. Don't hold on to things God is calling us to put away.
[00:48:06] Because we can't ask God to change us while continually holding onto things he's trying to change.
[00:48:15] He's trying to change, right? And Paul says this. We can't become more like Jesus while still holding onto the things that make us look less like Jesus.
[00:48:26] We can't become more like Christ if we are still holding onto the things that make us look less like Christ and we grieve the very work he wants to do in us. Right? Because you can't ask God for more peace and you're still unwilling to forgive.
[00:48:46] Sorry, that's what the text pretty much is trying to help us to understand. You can't have healthy relationships without refusing to stop making everything about yourself.
[00:48:58] Right?
[00:48:59] Paul says if you want God to work in you, then you need to submit to the Spirit and the work that he wants to call out of you.
[00:49:10] He wants to call out of you. God wants you to become a person of peace, but a peaceful person is one who forgives.
[00:49:20] God wants you to be a person of joy, but a joyful person is one who walks in self control.
[00:49:30] That's the work that he wants to do in us more and more. And then Paul lands this with helping us to understand that he slides into chapter five as he slides into this moment. And he gets in and he tells us, here's the one thing I need you to understand. All of these things that I just talked to you about.
[00:49:49] Here's the very great truth.
[00:49:52] All this is practiced in chapter five, verse one. He says, be imitators of God.
[00:50:02] Therefore, it's actually a tattoo that I have.
[00:50:05] Therefore, as beloved children, those who receive God's love begin reflecting God's Character.
[00:50:16] Because here's the truth, friend. God's love doesn't just change how we see ourselves.
[00:50:22] His love changes how we treat others.
[00:50:26] His love changes how we treat others.
[00:50:29] It radically changes how we treat one another.
[00:50:32] And notice Paul says, be imitators of God as dearly or beloved children. Don't miss that part. That part means those who are cherished. Because children often learn by watching and imitating their parents. And Paul is saying is because you are his beloved child, reflect your heavenly Father.
[00:50:55] Reflect his love, Reflect his mercy, reflect his compassion, reflect his patience.
[00:51:03] Reflect that he is generous, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Reflect your Father.
[00:51:13] He talks about the motivation to love, but now he talks about the motto of love.
[00:51:19] Verse 2. He says, Walk in love as Christ has loved us and he gave Himself up for us.
[00:51:28] This is the model of love right here. Friends, what does Paul do? Paul points us back to the cross and here's how I want to land.
[00:51:36] The cross shows us how loved people are called to love.
[00:51:42] That's what the cross does.
[00:51:44] The cross shows us how loved people are called to love. And what does the cross show us? It shows us that love was self giving.
[00:51:55] Love is self giving. It is giving up of oneself. Because notice Paul says in the text that Jesus gave himself.
[00:52:05] In the Gospels when you read it, Jesus was literally giving himself away.
[00:52:11] No one, he says can take it by force.
[00:52:14] But rather because of his great love in which he loved us, because of his great mercy, Christ gave himself up right. The cross is what self giving love looks like.
[00:52:32] And sometimes for us in our lives, how do we practice that? Love is sometimes choosing to seek someone else's good.
[00:52:38] Even when it costs me sometimes, even if it costs me something.
[00:52:43] Love is sometimes listening instead of talking.
[00:52:48] Love is self giving. And Christ shows us that on the cross.
[00:52:55] The cross doesn't just show us that we are loved. The cross shows us how loved people are called to love people.
[00:53:05] Let me ask you this question one more time. If someone watched the way you treated people for an entire week, what would they learn about Jesus Christ?
[00:53:16] What would they learn about his love?
[00:53:19] What if they learn about his forgiveness?
[00:53:21] What have they learned about his grace? Let's pray.
[00:53:27] Dear Father, I pray and I ask that you work within us a good work that needs to be done.
[00:53:33] Heavenly Father, we don't just need to hear these spiritual truths, but rather we need your spirit to help us to walk in these truths.
[00:53:45] Equip us this week, work in us this week. Help us to live out the life you have called us to live.
[00:53:52] Help us to walk in the grace that you have given to us. Help us to be people of grace because we've been saved by grace.
[00:54:01] Help us to be forgiving people because we have been forgiven for much.
[00:54:06] Help us to be merciful people because of your great mercy in our lives. Lives.
[00:54:11] Help us, I pray. Strengthen us, I pray.
[00:54:15] Do a good work in us so the good work can be shown through us. And when people, when they interact with us, they're interacting with the new self, with the new life because of a good Savior in Jesus Christ.
[00:54:32] Bless us, I pray. Help us. I pray. As in your son's perfect name. Amen and amen.
